Day 938. Direct a conversation so that others can have their turn to speak

October 30, 2013

365+ Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 938.  Friday, October 18, 2013
We sat down to dinner and conversation began.  Carol has joined us before but she’s still somewhat new to our group.  The four of us know each other pretty well by now.

The conversation was not related to the shared experiences Carol has with the group.  I didn’t want to exclude her.

The moment conversation ended I began, albeit in a clumsy way, “Carol, I’ve seen your posts on Facebook and I don’t understand them entirely— what do you do with the police department?”

Immediately Carol’s face lit up and she began sharing her stories about being part of a citizens training group with the police department.

She’s a bit soft spoken so the others couldn’t hear her well.  The others soon began talking to each other about other things.

But I listened intently to Carol’s conversation instead.  I didn’t know these things about her and I was interested in learning.

Smiling:  “Is the goal to eventually work for them?”

Carol:  “Oh, I’d like to but I’m not sure if I’m too old!”

Smiling Daffodil:  “Don’t give up on it.  It sounds like something you should consider.”

Our conversation was interrupted by the waiter bringing our meals.  But I was grateful for the time to get to know Carol on a more personal basis.

The Dale Carnegie principles used in this story are from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 15.  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Principle 4.  Become genuinely interested in other people

The lesson in this story:  Make people feel welcome by asking questions and showing interest.  And teach others indirectly by your example.

365+ Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles By The Smiling Daffodil

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