Day 944. Before blaming the other person analyze your own actions

November 18, 2013

365+ Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 944.  Thursday, October 24, 2013
Kip sent the documents for me to proof around 4:45pm.

I took a look and immediately had concerns.  It also didn’t help that it was 4:45 pm—just about time for Kip to leave.

I didn’t like the documents—in fact, I hated them.

Smiling Daffodil:  “What was he thinking?  This isn’t his best work—not even close.  Geez.”

I wasn’t happy—I was upset.  I also felt the stress of the clock.  The documents need to be edited and finished by tomorrow morning.  As far as I was concerned—these documents were a mess.  A complete mess—a disaster!  A horrible disaster!

I decided to stop complaining to myself and start editing.  It was during this process I realized I had made the mistake.  It was glaringly my fault!

I had given Kip information but I didn’t explain what to do with it.  Technically, I didn’t want him to use ALL the information—but how was he to know that?  He can’t read my mind.

There was absolutely no reason to complain anymore.  I finished my edits and emailed the changes to Kip.

Smiling Daffodil:  “Kip, my apologies.  I threw a bunch of facts and figures at you—I should have provided a bullet point synopsis.  Please find it attached here.”

The Dale Carnegie principle used is from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 24.  Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

The lesson in this story:  it’s easy to point out the faults and shortcomings of others—whether it’s at home, school or the workplace. Before you eagerly condemn them—stop and look at your own actions.  Maybe your actions toward them is contributing to the problem and perhaps there is something you can do differently.  Remember, people cannot read your precious, brilliant mind!  As a result don’t be surprised if they don’t behave like they do!

365+ Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles By The Smiling Daffodil

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